Staff and Writers
Michael J. Zimmer, Executive Editor, CEO ZIMCO Industries
Mr. Zimmer works from the worldwide publishing HQ of The Kegerator Nation at parent company ZIMCO Industries in Cape Coral, Florida. The Tipp City, Ohio native is a former Ohio State University attendent. Having built his fortune in the alcoholic beverage industry he has turned his sights toward global dominance via a vast empire of sports media outlets, harvesting precious whale oil, pornographic film productions, timber (including wood products), the fur trade, weapons development, medical sphincter devices and the production of Uranium. As majority share holder and CEO of ZIMCO Industries he is board chairman for global operations. Mr. Zimmer is also chairman of the board for The International Men of Leisure, a sitting board member of the Cape Coral Fish and Game, is a Grand Tusker in the order of Wart Hog and President of the Zimmer Foundation for Charitable Good. He also has recently been appointed head of a newly developed political think tank, The Conservative Organization Concerning Kinetic Sovereignty (COCKS). His astrological sign is that of the Leo. His hobbies include horse racing, drinking fine bourbon and smoking cigars. He can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.
Mike Zimmer, Head Writer, President of Production
Mike Zimmer has been a writer for The Kegerator Nation for nearly 10-years now. He works from the publishing HQ housed at ZIMCO Industries Global in Cape Coral, Florida. Zimmer’s hometown is Columbus, Ohio and the site and nation remain tied to the great state of Ohio at it’s root. Zimmer is an astute salesman as well as writer having worked in the beer, wine and liquor business for over 12-years. An Ohio State Alum his writings and leanings are biased for his beloved OSU, the Big Tweleven and the midwest in general. A former Cincinnati Bungals season ticket holder, he knows the feeling of shame. A lifelong Atlanta Braves fan, his favorite players are Chipper Jones and Brian McCann. He is biased for them as well. Zimmer has previously written for The Birchbark, The Troy Daily News, Dayton Bombers.com, International Men of Leisure, Hustler and Forbes. He also can be reached at email@example.com.
Dr. C. Brian Barrett, Czar, Chief of Procurement
Dr. C. Brian Barrett was named Czar and Chief of Procurement for both The Kegerator Nation and ZIMCO Industries. He works from the global operations center for ZIMCO Industries in Fort Myers, Florida. As Czar he works in an Ombudsman-like capacity. As Chief of Procurement, his directives include necessary operations and leadership patterns. Dr. Barrett is also in charge of the global media hub for the Kegerator Nation and ZIMCO Industries, operating it’s central media operations for The Bunker at the Garage Majal center. An Ohio State graduate, Dr. Barrett is earned his Doctorate in Hospitality Sciences from The Zimmer Institute of fictional medicine. Dr. Barrett made his fortune by inventing and perfecting ZIMCO’s Grade B Sphincter Device. An avid sportsman, his favorite teams include the Detroit Lions, Detroit Tigers and his beloved Buckeyes. He cannot be reached.
St. John-Smythe (pronounced Sin-Jin-smy-th) holds the title of CFO for The Kegerator Nation and formerly held that position for ZIMCO Industries. He works from ZIMCO’s International HQ based in Peterborough, England. St. John-Smythe holds the purely honorary title of Arch Duke of Upper Respitory and Phlemingtonshire as well as being a Knight Templer. Educated at Cambridge’s Ring Road College, he has held the titles of Chief Economic Advisor for over 4-Financial firms including the prestigious Knobs, Shaft and Crotch Securities and chief financial advisor for ZIMCO founder and chairman Michael Zimmer. St. John-Smythe enjoys buggery, a good pint of Bishops Finger, Glam Rock and anything with Michael Caine in it.
Hootie McBoob, Writer, Smut Peddler
Mr. McBoob is The Kegerator Nation’s resident Smut Peddler. Having graduated the Bob Guccione School of Smut in 1985 at the tender age of 10, he quickly devolved into full pervert status by age 13. McBoob was an attendant at the University of Maryland (on-line classes). McBoob has viewed thousands of hours of pornography, is hopelessly jaded towards relationships and is generally a miserable bastard. He enjoys drinking Budweiser, bowling and watching young Eastern European women have anal sex until they cry.
The Lotion’, Contributor, Story generator
Avid Kegerator Nation member ‘The Lotion’ has become a valuable contributor and story generator over the last year. His varied passions include the Cincinnati Reds and Bungals, The Ohio State Buckeyes and stories from Ohio. His identity is hidden for obvious reasons, mainly because of Hootie McBoob. Some say he’s an executive for a plastics company. Some say his wife recently delivered Mike Zimmer’s baby. No one is 100% certain.
Mike Barker, Hockey Contributor
BGSU Alum, Barker has not contributed anything to the site in some time. He operates out of the greater Raleigh, North Carolina area. An avid Blues, Canes, Browns and Reds fan, hockey is his real passion. He is a master chef by trade.
J.W., Writer and Contributor
Little is known about JW other than he’s a Muthafudga. His passion is The Ohio State Buckeyes basketball team. He has a penchant for prog rock, gonzo thought processes and being an awesome dad and wonderful husband when he is not systematically ridding the world of evil doers.