Chapman was driving nearly as fast as he throws the baseball.

There was a reason that Aroldis Chapman wasn’t in to close the game against Atlanta last night…

The Reds fire-balling newly minted closer was arrested last Sunday/early Monday…near Columbus for some reason…doing 93mph on I-71 on a suspended drivers license…

Sounds like he was on either a booty call or on a drug run…or something.

by Tits McGee. Miserable Bastard

There is no good reason that a Major League ball player who plays for the Cincinnati Reds and only hours before had de-planed in Northern Kentucky after a road-trip to New York to be then arrested just outside of Columbus in the southern suburb of Grove City (known locally as Grove-tucky).  None.  Especially if said ball player is the newly minted closer, a fire-balling 100+mile per hour Cuban millionaire who is new to this country.

Yet, that’s what happened.  Aroldis Chapman was arrested for doing felony speed (93mph) and doing so on a suspended Kentucky drivers license…at nearly 2am.  Seriously, what the fuck was he doing? (

Look, who knows what ball players do in their spare time sometimes.  Mike Leake decided to steal t-shirts from Macy’s.  Joey Votto take anti-depressants and dates men.  Brandon Phillips plays with and laughs at a speak and spell often “axing” it “quetchens” and mocking the way it talks.  Manager Dusty Baker eats fetuses.  Meanwhile Chapman went for a drive?  Look, there’s no good reason at all to be caught speeding by Grove City.  Anyone that knows anything about Ohio high ways knows, you cannot speed in the state of Ohio as the interstate is a Police State guarded by money hungry State Troopers and municipal police that don’t have any use for keeping the peace, stopping crime or pursuing real criminals but eye-ball the road ways looking for speeders to add money to their coffers.  If Chapman had any sense, he would have known that I-71 from Columbus to Cincinnati is a speed trap mind-fuck, an endlessly boring road you cannot speed very much on and gently rolling flat hills where coppers hang out and shoot lasers at you.

Was he just opening up his Mercedes to see what it could do?  Doubtful.  Then again, he’s from Cuba, he’s probably never had a car made after 1959.  Was he making a booty call?  Doubtful again, come on, he’s a pro athlete with millions, bitches and pussy come to him.  Drug run?  Now, this makes sense.  Don’t want to get noticed buying Columbian Marching Powner in and around the town in where you pitch, make a roadie up to C-bus, they’ve surely got your stuff there.  But really?  Again, he’s got plenty of cash and the blow coming up and down I-75 is better than that of Central Ohio which has come from New York via Cleveland.  No, really.

Chapman was in uniform and at the game tonight, but he’s got some ‘splanin’ to do.  Or does he?  It’s probably not going to get explained which is, well, troubling.  And boring.  Dude what the hell were you doing?